Shorthand means long hours.

Fresher rantings.

If you're reading this, well done. You found me.

I'm training to be a journalist at Bournemouth Uni.

9:00 am.

So there i am, my first year, a fresher. Ahhhh freshh! There's nothing like the fresh air in the morning...no?Especially on a cold, bitter, RAINY, winter Monday morning. Slowly, I rise from an irresistible slumber, and i remember the Shorthand exam looms just around the corner. They say new dawn, new day. I say new dawn, new torture. Well, at least it has been for the last week anyway. For the past six days, shorthand has been the bain of my existence. I shower. I check facebook. I headbang to rage against the machine. Then i get dressed. Can't wait for the exam, i think.

Is shorthand becoming a thing of the past?

I know of friends, employers and even lecturers who may think that. It's surprising how many of us out there have trained in this alien language and don't actually use it. Or even how many of us out there who haven't trained in it and still manage to get an outstanding job within the journalistic community. You, the reader of this blog, the marking lecturer, the future employer, potentially, hopefully, will most probably have asked yourself the same question. If you haven't please stop reading now.

When I say shorthand I think of newspapers. But are these slipping into the deep abyss of online news infotainment? Are they well past their sell-by-date?

It is not a question of how or why or what will eventually take over the news mediums and methods we know today. But when. Of course, there will be no definitive point at which we can legitimatly say, "switch!". This is no digital switchover.

Newspaper sales are down; the public are turning to the net to catch up on the news. It's quicker, faster and free. Editors I have worked for in the past have told me they don't even use shorthand these days. Why should we? We have dictaphones, cameras, microphones. All of this technology keeps things moving away from the traditional news mediums that started the whole journalism thing off. Imagine this.

One hundred years down the line, technology is so advanced we can read the news online as it happens. Packages are a thing of the past. It's all about what's happening NOW. News an hour ago is old news and the next generation's kids haven't even heard of newspapers. In fact, there's a newspaper museum just off of Oxford Street, London. Scared? Probably not. Still...imagine that.

Well I just happen to like newspapers. I quite like reading about lots of different things just because they're there. I might even stretch to liking shorthand. We should preserve our traditional news methods. How else will we read the news on the train in the mornings for 30p!!

Oh and one more thing. Britain's great. It's great because we love to laugh at ourselves.

And when I say laugh I mean invade. And when I say ourselves I mean other people.

Let's bring the boys home.

Matt

Answers!

Moody women. Brush up on your homework men!

Know the right answer to keep your lady happy.

Know how to read the signs.

This article is too funny...

.

Oh, what a funny name.

Worth Matravers.

It's a name that reminds me of Werthers Originals and the Scottish Highlands. But don't let that put you off - it's home to acres of breathtaking scenery and probably one of the best pubs for miles.

Why I ended up there is a bit random. Harry Harris, my flatmate and general funny man, has a knack for finding and knowing about good stuff. This time, listening to a Grad Ceremony speech at the B.I.C (don't ask) had produced this little gem for us. Road trip start.

Of course, every good road trip starts with sweets, tunes, and...a can of strongbow? First stop co-op.

Most people love a good drive. Especially when you have the vocal talents of Anya Fisher and Harry Harris on board. Watch out for them on X-factor next year.

When we eventually arrived in Worth it all became clear. It was amazing. It's got all the right ingredients to satisfy the needs of the inner country bumpkin. Even the communities local motor head had come out to play (see right).

We set out for a hike in the winter sun. When I say hike, what I really mean is a gentle stroll. Just staying upright in our ill-equipped trainers was a losing battle. Then things got even more random. Please watch 'Harry Harris's guide to Dorset' below...

It was a pretty funny walk. We mucked about for a bit, went down to the sea to throw rocks and Anya had a face-off with a cow. Harry managed to trip over a bramble and Kylie walked the plank over a bog. All that fresh air had us gasping for the local watering hole.

The Square and Compass is a neat, little pub that serves real ale from the barrel. It's cosy and has plenty of character. If you ever visit, try the hot mulled cider - they 'think' it's about 6.5%. All we found out is that half a pint is easily enough to get us tipsy.

See the rest of the photos here.

MC

Delivery people screw with you.

I'd like to pose a question.

Why do delivery men have no concept of deadline? It's as simple as keeping to an agreed time of delivery, it's not rocket science. I am yet to have the pleasure of meeting one that understands. They categorically cannot do it.

I'd like to see a delivery man or woman who defies this principal. I just think it would be like some sort of mind-blowing miracle...like a legal high or something.

So on Monday, I was expecting 20 crates of Rockstar energy drink to turn up outside my door @ 9am. I even woke up fifteen minutes earlier - precious sleeping time in a students mental world. Then I was slapped around the face with the harsh words of a call girl from the delivery office.

"Yeh, he's got held up in Poole, he'll be there around 2ish." She sounds more like a meth head on crack. 'Held up' in Poole?! So you've over slept then. Decided to take the morning off have you? Brilliant.

I don't know if you've heard. There's this mysterious object I know of and it can be tied to your wrist. It has magical sticks on it that move round and round. Some call it a watch. If you know a delivery man that has one of these and can use it please let me know. I would like to meet him/her.

MC

Shit. I'm really bad at blogging.

Lately I've neglected this blog...well...pretty much ignored it.

Sorry blog.

I'm back now.